I'm Just Yuffie, You Can't Argue That!
by Tifa's pride
Summary: Hey its Yuri which is good in my book! Skitzo Yuffie, which is also good. It's giving me writer's block which is bad. On Hold till inspiration strikes
1. Hi, Yuffie here!

**Author's Notes: ****HELLO! Enjoy, warning's to be include are, Its AU, maybe just a little OC, there is reference to abuse, It Yuri! Its Yuffie POV and the italic bits are Yuffies mind. R&R please, for the love of god review! See begging is not beneath me!**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own FF7, If I did Tifa and Aeris would live happily ever after and I'd build them a castle in the sky. Oh and I don't own Malcolm in the middle either!**

**I'm Just Yuffie, You Cant Argue That!**

I love you Tifa Lockhart! There I said it mentally at least, now if only I could tell her out loud. _Yeah but you won't do that. _And how d'you know? _Dude, I'm you, god I knew you were stupid but you just out did yourself there. _Silence you. _No, someone's got to snap you out of it and girl, get a grip your arguing with yourself here, dam skitzo!_

"You ok Yuffie?" Tifa's ethereal voice called pulling me out of my trance._ Trance?_ Yes trance, you got a problem with that? _Yeah, its lame! _No its not, if it's lame your lame to! _I-I…uhh…uncle? _Ha thought that would shut you up bitch!

"Yuffie?" Tifa called again. _Well, say something!_

"Yeah, just contemplating life, you know." I reply, Tifa just giggled, I love her giggles, they're like, hell I don't know what there like, I just know they make me happier than anything else in the world, the way her cute little nose wrinkles and her lips_. We get the message, you're a big major uber dyke. _That's not nice! _No, it's not but it's true. _

"Yuffie?" Tifa called once more interrupting my argument with, well…me, or maybe it's my conscience or something.

"Yuffie." Tifa pokes me in the back. "You're being weird again." Tifa sighs.

"Sorry…" _You little bitch, girls got you whipped, its really pathetic. _Yeah, well, you're a bitches bitch and that's even worse! _That doesn't even make sense. _Yeah, it sounded better in my head. _Dude it IS in your head! _

"So, what you up to this weekend?" Tifa enquires as she taps her half chewed up pen on her notepad.

"Uh probably just study; maybe finish that book we were supposed to read…" I sigh, 'I'd rather spend it with you' I add, silently of course. _Your suck a chicken-shit girl. _Shut it you! "You know, just junk, you?"

"Oh I'll probably just hang out with Aeris…" The pain in her crimson eyes is agonisingly obvious.

"Things that bad huh?" I should explain right? The reason she's hurting so bad is because of him, her stepfather. Sephiroth. Nasty piece of work, someday I'd like to beat him into a coma one day for what he's done to Tifa, for what he's still doing to Tifa. She doesn't give details of course, she wouldn't burden us with the true extent of her horror . See that's why I love her, she's so selfless even when she's in so much pain. It wasn't so bad for Tifa when her mom was around, but she died when Tifa was 11 and things have been getting slowly worse since then. She spends most of her time at Aeris house, and mine not that I'm complaining. She is after all my best friend, along with Aeris and my stepbrother Cloud. He's more of a real brother though. _Yuffie you can do this later! _Oh, right, sorry, thanks. _See, I can be useful._

"Yeah…"Tifa sighs under her breath.

"You can always stay here you know." I offer, Tifa smiles and gives my hand a gentle squeeze, her way of thanking me. She's good at that, talking without actually saying anything. There's a knock at the door accompanied with Clouds deep voice. "Safe to come in?" He really is quite considerate, for a guy anyway.

"Yep." I grin at my blond spiky haired brother as he enters.

"Hey ninja, dad wants you." That's his nickname for me 'ninja' don't ask me why he's just always called me that, in return I gave him the nickname 'solider'. I really couldn't tell you why, its been that way since we were 6, I've known him as long as I've known Aeris and Tifa, he's not so close to them though so we don't really hang out much beyond home. He's in a completely different crowd, he's in the geeky crowd and my friend and me, well were the weird kids that no one likes. But we don't care because we have each other.

"Kay, I'll be back." Clouds the only one who knows I'm gay, he's also the only one who knows I 'that four letter word' Tifa. _What's up with 'that four letter word'_ _crap? _Well, I didn't keep repeating the word love, it diminishes the meaning, you knew that! _Yeah but they might not! _Oh right, sorry people. I've decided not to detail my chat with Dad, its just him yelling at me for not taking out that trash and stuff, I don't like him much. Don't get me wrong I love him, he's just annoying. But knowing what Sephiroths like with Tifa just makes me appreciate how great he really is. I mean, I'm a moody little so-and-so, I hurl abuse at him randomly and disobey most of his rules but he's never once raised his hand to me, or to Cloud, not that Cloud ever does anything wrong anyway. _You're rambling girl! _Ok, sorry, I bet your dying to know what Sephiroths like right? Well you'll just have to wait till next time I'm at Tifa's, could be a long wait! Anyway, I've had enough of talking to you, I feel like Malcolm in the middle! Gah! I'll talk some more tomorrow, maybe.


	2. Saturdaynight Escapades

**Author's**** notes:**** Well this is the second chapter of this story (duh!) and I'm starting to think this is going to be a long one. But I don't mind, I like writing Yuri and it's a distraction from the homework I should be doing, but honestly who really understands trigonometry? God! Sorry, random of me. Also, STOP flaming me for my spelling and grammar! English isn't my first langue! It's Croatian, Bitch! SO flame me for it and I'll hurl abuse at you in Croatian, then ask you how you spell THAT ! Umm…I don't mind you pointing out my mistakes just be nice about it ok? **

**Disclaimer****: You people know what I don't own right? **

**Saturday Night Escapades **

Well hello again! Unfortunately, it's the weekend. Why is that so bad you ask?

I'm grounded so no fun for me!

My dad's confiscated my cell

TV's cruddy on Saturdays!

Nobodies online because, unlike me, they all have lives.

_You have a life, you just chose__ to constantly disobey the rules so your always grounded. _Oh yeah. _You'll get yourself arrested one day, and I swear to you now if you go to prison I'll leave you for good! _You can't leave doofus, you're in my head! _Oh yeah…_ Yeah something I forgot to mention, I'm kind of a klepto. _Kind of? _Okay so I'm a complete klepto, don't look at me like that! It's not as if I steal from people, just from stores. Why you ask? For the frickin buzz! It's really fun, you should try it sometime! _Are you telling them to start stealing Yuffie? _No, wait yes…um phone a friend? _Your hopeless __Kisaragi you really are. _Wait phone-a-friend! _Have you finally lost it Yuff?_ Do **NOT** call me Yuff! And no, I haven't lost it, dad never said I couldn't use Clouds cell. _You're so bad!_ I know, don't you just love it?

So here I go dialing Aeris number, chances are Tifa'll be there to. "Hey Air, how's it goin?" I ask. I hear Aeris sigh in to her receiver.

"You and Zack still on out's with each other huh?" I inquire; Zack is Aeris boyfriend by the way. _Well duh! _Oh will you just shut up!

"Yeah, you know he still hasn't called me!" Aeris exhales noisily. I don't like it when Aeris is upset it just doesn't seem natural! She's one of those 'oh so optimistic happy all the time' people.

"Little bitch, want me to kick his ass for you?" I offer jokingly, not that I wouldn't beat someone up for Aeris I just don't think I'd win against Zack, he's uber strong! I hear a little giggle from the other end of the phone.

"You still grounded huh?" She asks even though she already knows the answer.

"Yep, that's what I get for not following the rules huh?" I mock Aeris, that's her favorite thing to say to me.

"I'm coming to liberate you." Aeris cheerfully declared, yes you maybe surprised but Aeris can be bad sometimes.

"Thank GOD!" I chuckle. _God you need to buy a thesaurus! _Will you just leave me alone! _No, I'm your better half, I stop you from doing something REALLY retarded. _Like what huh? _Kissing Tifa. _You shut up you!

"Right I'll be over in twenty, and then we'll get Vince and Tifa." The latter part of her sentence disturbed me, well more the thought that Tifa isn't with Aeris. Therefore, she isn't safe. I know why she wants Vincent with us, its because she's shit scared of Sephiroth. Vincent is another of our group, we've known him since we were eight, he's a really nice guy once you get passed his moody distant front. We don't ever really go round his house either, mainly because he lives in a two bed room trailer with his Mom and little brother Denzil so there's really just no space. I know what you're thinking Vincent's poor white trash right? Well he may be poor and white but he certainly not trash and I'll beat the living daylights out of anyone who even suggests otherwise! _Rambling…_Oh sorry, I get carried away.

I hear a knock on my window, I grin, its Aeris of course! I climb out of my bedroom window, one of the fringe benefits of living in a bungalow! "Hey Air," I grin at my brunette friend who is, as always, clad in pink. Unlike me who prefers earthy tones, sea greens and pale yellows.

"Hey Ninja!" She mimics Cloud, I glare at her, and she giggles. We set out to the bus stop, its not that long of a walk to Vincent's house but since it is to Tifa's and we'll have to buy all-day tickets anyway might as well get as much use out of them as we can right? _You're just trying to justify your laziness! _So what if I am? _Uhh…um…dunno. _Ha! I own you bitch! _I am you bitch! _Oh right… Um lets just leave this! _Fine, I'll leave it, for now… _

"Heyo Vin-bitch!" I yell at him as he exits his dirty white trailer. He smirks at me, see Vince doesn't smile he smirks, smug what's-it! _Your insults are totally random! _I thought we were on a break. _No, I said I'd leave it but not how long for. _Your so sneaky. _So are you! _

"Hey-hey Yuffie, Air." Vince is wearing his usual dark red jumper and black combat trousers trying to hide the fact that they were from k-mart, when everyone else was wearing designer. Well at school, they are anyway, no wait there not because we have uniforms. _Your so confusing…_ I guess what I'm trying to say is, we go to private school. Aeris and I are paid for but Vince and Tifa are scholarship students. Some stuck up snobs look down on the scholarship guy's but most of our friends are scholarship people. There more down to earth than the other swots.

"We goin to get Tifa?" Vince asks after he notices her absence, he's very protective over Tifa, and I think he likes her a little bit. But I'm ok with that because he wouldn't do anything about it, much like myself, besides he has the biggest crush ever on this TA at our school. Lucrecia Crescent, she's nice looking I guess. I don't like her much though.

"Yuffie you knock." Aeris finally decides.

"Why me?" I moan childishly. _So you admit it then? _Admit what? _That you're childish. _Yep, I guess I do. _What…? _Shut up you fool!

"Because, Yuffie, if Vincent knocks then he'll end up punching him in the face if he answers the door." Aeris says calmly. Vincent scoffs; I know what he's thinking, 'would that really be such a bad thing?' Well the answer to that question is yes, not only will Sephiroth not hesitate to smack Vince up side the head; it would make things ten times worse for Tifa.

"Okay, okay." I grumble as I make my way up Tifa's perfectly pruned front yard, everything is regimented there's not a leaf out of place. That's Sephiroths way, avid perfectionist, well that's the impression I get. I gently knock on the mahogany door and hear Sephiroths voice emanating from within the building. "Answer the fucking door bitch!" He bellows.

"Oh hey Yuffie…"Tifa greets me shyly. "Now's not really the time ok?" He's been hitting her again, I can tell. _Well her split lips kind of gives it away don't you think? _Will please shut up for once.

"Well, who the fuck is it?" Sephiroth demands.

"It's just Yuffie…" Tifa yell's back hesitantly, sometimes he'd just tell her to get out of the house when her friend knock but other times he'd tell us to fuck of.

"Well what you waiting for you fucking whore, get the fuck out of my sight!" Tifa defiantly didn't need telling twice. Well I've had enough of talking to you, you mess with my head! I'll talk some more tomorrow, wait no. Sunday's my day of, plus nothing happens on Sundays! Peace out bitch! _Very polite! _Silence!


	3. English, PE Oh And Hello Rikku

**Authors Notes:**** Well you know what to expect by now but also if you're not comfortable with the subject of self harm don't carry on. We get to meet crossover characters. YAY! Yuna, Tidus, Rikku…Blah blah blah. Oh and on the subject of Rikkus last name, square soft were too lazy to give her one so I did. Yes, I know, but there are no Al Bhed people in the real world! There's a lot of OC-ness because this chapter is more based on personal experience than any other I've written. **

**Disclaimer: ****Is this even necessary, I'm only 14 years of age and am constantly getting my dam pocket money docked! If you sue me, all you'll get is the air and Croatian insults. Tehe **

**Ah Monday…**

Ah Monday, how we hate thee! I have English first and I still haven't read that book, note to self ask Tifa for a plot outline! _God you suck! _Shut it you, I've had enough of arguing with you! Anyway, as per usual woke up late today and I'm running around like a headless chicken trying to get ready. Gah, Mondays!

Right, I'm ready now, well at least I should be I'm on the school bus. "Hey Yu." Yuna grins at me. She's really quite beautiful; I think if I weren't so obsessed with Tifa I'd have a crush on her. _Dyke! _Homophobe! _Umm…uhh…_ Anyway, long story short, Yuna is hot!

"SO how was your weekend?" She asks but she doesn't really sound interested.

"Same old same old…" I sigh, god I'm boring. "You?"

"Nothing worth mentioning, but hey I have a favour to ask you." Yuna begins. I can honestly say I'm surprised, people don't usually trust me enough to ask for a favour, well except to steal stuff for them. However, Yuna wouldn't ask for that, she doesn't 'agree' with stealing.

"Sure, what is it?" I try to sound uninterested. _Why? _Because I have a reputation to uphold! _What, a shortass, tough as nails, crazy bitch who can't be trusted with anything? _Yes. _Oh…_

"See, my cousin's starting here today and I was wondering if you'd look after her for me." Yuna explains sweetly. Yuna reminds me a lot of Aeris.

"Why me?" I can't stop myself from asking.

"Because I think you'll get on well." Yuna responds. "Her names Rikku."

When I get to homeroom I see Tifa and Aeris. Aeris is her usual chipper self but Tifa has that faraway look in her eyes that she gets sometimes. She's cutting herself again I just know it. She's been doing it on and of since we were nine. I really do worry about her when she's like this; battling her depression all by herself. She won't even let try to help her; she just shrug's us of with 'I'm fine' and that fake smile of hers. It makes me so miserable. Then she strolls in as if she doesn't have a care in the world.

"Whadda you want?" Mr. Highwind barks at the blonde haired girl who's totally unfazed by his complete rudeness.

"This is my new homeroom." She replies coolly.

"And you are?" Highwind asks nonchalantly.

"Rikku Albhed." She answers in that same happy but slightly uncaring tone. This can't be Yuna's cousin? _Well it' be one heck of a coincidence she it wasn't wouldn't it._ Rhetorical question idiot! Highwind simply grunted in return. I find my gaze moving towards the girl, she's hot! _Dyke… _Stop fucking calling me that! _Temper temper homo girl! _Screw you asswipe! _Fuck of you little ho! _Bitch! _Coward! _Shut up! _Hmm…I owned you! Ha, you got owned! _Yep…by myself! _God you're sad. _If I am then you are to! _Shut up!_

"Hey, any of you guys know where room B124 is?" Rikku turns to the people sat at the front table who just ignore her. Rufus and his gang are like that: rude; arrogant; spoilt brats! Rufus thinks he's the king of the fricking school! Just because his Dads the head of Shinra.Inc! Shinra's got there hands on everything, electricity, property blah blah blah! Then there's his little bitch, Tseng, not actually a great deal to him he's just Rufus's rent boy! Then there's Reno the smartass womaniser! Rude, the dumb silent one. Elena, she's just there because she has a huge crush on Tseng. Elena used to be ok, she was part of our group when she first came here but that soon changed. Then there's the mother of all bitches Scarlet, prissy bleach-blonde whore! She's Rufus's girl and seems to think everyone is beneath her. She likes to spend her spare time spreading vindictive rumours about people. _You're just still sore because she told everyone that you're on drugs._ Shut up! _Why are you still so upset? It's not as if anyone actually believed her. _Still, just the fact that she went round telling people stuff about me that completely false is enough for me to be pissed off forever!

"Hey, do you guy's know where room B124 is?" She asks ratherexpectantly.

"Yeah, we'll show you." I chime in. Rikku breaths a sigh of what I can only assume is relief as she slides into the empty seat next to Aeris.

"Hi, I'm Aeris and this is Yuffie and that's Tifa." Aeris grins happily.

"You're Yuna's cousin right?" I ask, the blonde-haired girl rolls her eyes.

"Yep I sure am." I'm not sure what to make of that so I change the subject.

"So you're in my English class, tell me. Have you by some grace of god read 'the perfect storm?'" I plea but I'm not that lucky.

"Can't say I have." Rikku giggles; she has a cute little giggle.

"Have you read it Teef?" I ask pulling her out of her daydream.

"Yea…" she mumbles.

"Would you pretty please tell me what happens so Mr. Yevon doesn't go completely psycho on my ass?" I ask expectantly. Tifa gives me a brief analysis of the story then returns to her daydreaming.

"Teef you okay?" I whisper to her in english.

"Hmm…yeah Yuffie I'm just fine…" I have no choice but to accept her answer, if you try and force things with Tifa she'll just dig her heels in deeper. The rest of english is going to be boring so I'll talk to you again in gym.

I love gym, it's one of the few things I'm actually good at without trying to hard. Coach is nice if you like gym, if you don't he's a real moody bitch. "I want you girls changed in five." Coach Wallace orders, he pull's me away from the changing room. "And where's Miss. Lockhart today?" He sounds concerned. _Of course he's concerned, Tifa's one of his favourite students. _That's true. She's captain of the swim team, that girl is fast and like I said Wallace likes you if you're good at sport.

"Uh…I don't know, maybe she's sick or something…" I stumble. To be fair not only is Wallace intimidating but also I feel truly bad lying to him.

"I know it's not my place to ask, or yours to tell me but I have to ask. Is everything ok with her, she's missed a lot of practice and I'm worried." The burly mans rich brown eyes do seem to emanate genuine worry for her…so I guess its ok to tell him… _You know how Tifa'll react to that don't you? _Hey she'll thank me one day! _Yeah, if they lock him up. Remember what happened last time Tifa told someone! _I remember all to well. _You know if that happens again she'll never forgive you. It'll be as much your fault for anything that happens to her as it would be Sephiroths. _I don't care; she can't go on living like this. She's so hurt, in so much pain…

"No, she's not…" Why is my face wet, oh god am I crying? Is, is Wallace hugging me? This is wrong, it shouldn't be me crying into his arms ready to confess, it should be Tifa. Tifa should be the one to tell; but someone has to take the initiative. Someone's got to drag her out of her hellish home life. Why not me? _Because, imbecile, she'll hate you forever and ever! _ There is that… _Come on you know I'm right, just tell Wallace that you guys had an argument or something. A girly spat, you know. Come on girl speak up!_

"What is it?" Wallace asks.

"Me and Tifa we…we just had a falling out is all…" _There, that wasn't so bad was it? _Yes. I pull out of Wallace's embrace; he's smiling at me. He seems relieved but also a little sceptical. I quickly scurry away to change.

God why didn't I tell him? _Because you're my bitch; now bow down and kiss the feet of you master! _Will you just go away; I'm so not in the mood to deal with you! On that subject could you give me some space to? Thanks, I'll talk tomorrow. You're a real pal you know that? Bye.

**Authors notes: ****This chapter was hard, had me beat for days! Yeah, Yuffie is talking to you. Get used to it! It's like when Malcolm talks to you in Malcolm in the middle, you just don't question it! **


	4. I'll Have

**Authors Notes:**** Sorry for the long update wait, I know I'm a horrible person. Hey you guys get to see how bad my spelling really is because I'm working on a comp with no spell check! Yay? No not yay... Um well enjoy. Oh and lil warning, all those against the Rikku/Yuffie relationship go away now. Oh and we meet someone whose going to be more important later on, my OC Dylan. I'm trying to fit her into everything I write now. P.S sorry I don't now Kairis last name so I made it up, if you know it tell me in your review and I'll go back and change it. Oh yes people the redhead is Will from W.i.t.c.h tehe, a little gift from the people who read my W.i.t.c.h fictions. Ha, I may just have gone insane but hey!**

**Disclaimer****: Y'all know what I don't own right?**

**I'll Have...**

Ah the eternal struggle that is Tuesday, I mean you're still trying to shake of Monday but you can still feel the looming shadow of Friday. I think we should have Wednesday off, to recuperate from the unavoidable trauma of Monday.Unfortunately the state doesn't agree with me, the state says we have to attend tourture 5 days a week. Personally I think that's just plain cruel. _Yuffie, get a grip you loser. _I'm still not talking to you! _Come on, schools not so bad... _You're defiantly my irrational side for sure! _Now come on you don't really mean that do you? _For sure I do you little bitch! "Yuffie, Kairi and Dylan are here for you!" Thank you Cloud!

"Coming!" _Now come of it Yuffie you not seriously still friends with Kairi and Dylan are you? _Of course I am! "Hey Ki, D." Kairi grins at me, Dylan just raises an eyebrow.

"Hey hey Yu, steal anything good lately?" Dylan jokes, don't think she's being rude she's just like that.

"No, not really people are really uping their security." Dylan nods knowingly, Kairi never joins in with these conversations.

"Fancy skipping with us?" Kairi asks, come on why else would Dylan Oliver and Kairi Bare be at my house at 7:30 an a Tuesday morning?

"Sure, we going anywhere nice?" I joke, Kairi giggles, Dylan doesn't.

Ok skipping school with Kairi and Dylan rocks, come to think about it doing anything with Kairi and Dylan rocks. They went to the same elementary school as me and started to go to Midgar academy with me but Dylan got kicked out and Kairi changed schools to be with her. There tight Kairi and Dylan, their also the only lesbian couple I know. They've been going out since like before the dawn of time, well year 7 anyway. It started out as a simple game of truth or dare, Yuna asked Kairi if she liked anyone and she said she did. It went on for weeks, people asking her who then she finally admitted it and they've been going out ever since. Its really quite sweet. Kairi's parents totally flipped out when they found out, the only person in her family whose still talking to her is her twin sister, Naminé. Oh and her cousins Sora and Roxas. But beyond that no one, her parents even went so far as to kick her out, she lives with Dylan and her aunt now. _Sucks to be Kairi huh?_ I guess... _You don't sound so sure shortcake. _Well at least she knows who really means it when they say 'I'll always stand by you.' _Maybe..._

"Hey Yu, you just totally spaced out there, you ok?" Kairi asks.

"I guess, I'm just thinking..."

"About Tifa?" Dylan asks not looking up from the piece of paper she is drawing on.

"Huh?" I play dumb, I'm good at that. _That's because you don't have to play do you? _Silence, why must you always undermine me?_ Because you're a fool. _You know I've had it up to here with you insulting me!_ And what are you going to do about it? _Uh...um maybe I'll just kill all my brain cells, that'll shut you up. _No, that'll shut you up, I'm invincible! _Delusions of grandeur anyone?

"Come on Yu don't play dumb ass with me, you so have the hots for her."

_The gig is up loser. Ha, I laugh at you. You pitiful fool! _Oh my god will you just shut your god dam mouth for one second. _Now, now Yuffie. Firstly I don't have a mouth as I'm not really real just a figment of your over stretched imagination. Secondly has anyone ever told you that you have really self loathing issues? _Go away, just go away. "I uhh...have no clue what you're talking about..."

"You can't really denie it Yuffie." Kairi grins at me.

"I can and I think I just did." That warrants a chuckle from Dylan.

"Aww you really do like her, good for you I hope she appreciates it." Kairi sighs.

"Well, she kinda doesn't know..." Kairi and Dylan burst out laughing.

"Nice guys, real nice. Nice to know I can count on you." I fold my arms and pout.

"Aw don't be like that Yu, I just can't believe she hasn't noticed,or anyone else for that matter. I mean we noticed and we only see you every now and again." Kairi says threw stifled giggles.

"Yeah, your defiantly an open book Yu." Dylan chips in.

"Yeah ok, but Tifa's kinda distracted you know." Wow, that sounded angrier than I meant it to be. Kairi and Dylan stay silent. "Besides I don't think I could handle a relationship with her you know?" Kairi nods.

"I get you, I mean she's nice to look at and all but a bit much..." Kairi slaps her round the head. "Well not as nice as you Kairi of course." Dylan and Kairi grin at each other.

"Huh, well that was...odd."

"Oh, yeah sorry..." Kairi and Dylan turn scarlet. It's sweet that their embarrassed._ Why? _Because it just is, god you always have to rein the moment don't you?_ Yes. _

"Anyway I think I kind of like someone else." Where did that come from? _Don't look at me._

"Oooooooooooh who who who ?"Kairi jumps up and down excitedly. _Yeah Yuffie who? _I don't know I'm not even sure who's doing this panic people, I officially have no control over my mouth!

"Umm just this new kid, Rikku. She's Yunas cousin."_ What? _Huh? _What the fuck Yuffie, how come I wasn't told this? _

"Oh, Yuna, very hot!"

"Yeah, I don't think they get along though..." _Thats an understatement._ You're telling me. _Yes, yes I am. _Okay...moving swiftly along.

"Well then maybe you have a chance, because if they're anything like Yuna. You have less hope than Dylan and that odd redhead." Kairi glares at Dylan.

"Come of it Ki, she's just my friend!" Dylan sighs.

"Well you tell her that." Kairi retorts. I feel like I should leave... _Yeah maybe you should._

" Ki she has a boyfriend, you've met Matt right. Your just being paroined!" Yes I think I'll leave. _Good Idea._

"I'll uhh...catch you guys...later...bye." I zoom off before Kairi can argue.

Wow do they had issue. _Well come on Yuffie they've been going out since they were 11 and their 15 now, thats a long time! _Yeah, I guess. _Don't worry they'll be fine. _You sure about that? _Yeah, positive._ _Now whats this about us liking Rikku? _Us? _Well we are the same person. _Hmm, I don't know. I guess I do like her. She is hot. _Yea..._


	5. A little get together

**Authors Notes: ****Well hello again. Standard issue a/n. Enjoy. Oh and sorry to all those Shelke fans. I don't dislike shelke I just needed someone for Yuffie to dislike other than Scarlet. **

**Disclaimer****: I own nothing, nothing I tell you!**

**A Little Get Together.**

Wednesday. Is there a point? _Will you stop verbally asulting the days of the week! _Why? _Because, you little retard, it's pathetic. _Aw, that's mean. _Not, it's the truth_. Yeah, but it's still mean! "Yuffie!" Clouds calling me. " Come on we're going to miss the bus!" Yeah like that'd be such a bad thing._ Girl do you want to spend the rest of your life cleaning grease traps for a living? _Yes. _No you don't_. Go away! _You're such a loser_! "Bout time Ninja." Clouds grinning like a bitch. Man does that boy spend to much time on his hair!

"Whatever loser, at least I don't look like some kind of anime reject!" Cloud squints at me menicingly. Well as meanincingly as possible for Cloud. Moody he came do, meanicing he cannot.

Wow, a frosty silence on the way to the bus stop._ You must have really upset him_. Whatever, he'll get over it. _Well arn't you little miss sensitive? _Oh get back in your cage loser! _Oh my, we're crabby today_._ Or are you just growing a spine? _"Hey Yuffie, didn't see you yesterday." Yuna says, she's got her arm around Tidus. Tidus is cool, handsome if you're into blondes. _Don't you mean guys? _Silence you! I HATE his best friend Wakka. Dam Wakka!_ Just because he dumped you. _No, I dumped him thank you very much! _Come on Yuffie, everyone knows he dumped you._ He DID NOT! _He so did and you know it!_ Shut up! "Yuffie!" Tidus punches me lightly on the shoulder.

"Ouch!" I pout and rub my shoulder. Tidus erupt in a fit of unmanly giggles. Yuna asks me again.

"Oh I was with Kairi and Dylan." Yuna gives me a stern glare. Her way of telling me that she doesn't aprove. She really doesn't get along with Dylan, by that I mean she really hates her_. She hates her just about as much as I hate Shelke. You don't hate her Yuffie_. I do, she's the most enfuryating two-faced whore I've ever met!_ Now now Yuffie be fair you're hardly a virgin yourself! _Never said I was,but I'm not a whore! _Just because wakka left you for her. _I broke up with him! _You have a serious case of dinile girl! _

Homeroom, yay! Not. Oh, I'm early. Tifa and Aeris are nowhere to be seen, but oh Riku. Oh yeah Rikku. _We like her don't we?_ You know I think we do. _Good because she's hot!_ This coming from you? _What she is! _"Hey Rikku." She turns around and grins at me.

"Hey Yuffie, what happened to you yesterday?" Why does everyone care so much?_ Maybe they missed you_? Likely. _Was that supposed to be sarcastic? _What the hell do you think? _Honestly, I'm not sure. _Loser. _Moody whore! _

"Oh, I decided to take a break from the eternal tedium of school." Rikku's grin widens.

"You skipped?" I nod. "Next time take me with you!" Wow, how shocked am I?_ Pretty shocked._ Retorical question asswipe!_ Temper temper. _"What, don't look so shocked. Just because Yuna's miss boring hall monitor extraordinare doesn't mean I am." She seems genuinely offended, what to do? _Just follow you're usall policy. When in doubt, joke!_

"Yeah because you're bad to the bone."_ Ok, maybe no the best approach._

"Dam straight honey." Rikku grins, I blush. Dam these pale cheeks, stop it; go back now!_ Ha ha! _I have no idea what your laughing at! _You, you fool_. Oh yay it's Aeris, good god above am I glad to see her, girl's got exelent timing!

"Hey Air." Aeris gives me a funny look. Clearly Yuna told her about Kairi and Dylan. "Don't look at me like that!"

"What, how am I looking at you?" Gah! How dare she judge me!?!

"Come of it Air, just because you and Yuna don't like them doesn't mean I can't be friends with them!" Rikku looks utterly confused. _Well duh_! You know you can be really distracting sometimes._ It's my job._

"Yu, come on their bad news. You'll only get in trouble hanging around them."

"God you sound like Yuna!" Rikku giggles, Aeirs scowls and Tifa enters the room. "Hey Teef." Girl's got even better timing than Aeris, it's as if some ones scripting this.

"Hey Yuffie, Aeirs, Rikku." Aeris blushes, she had completely forgotten to say hello to Rikku. "How's Dill and Ki?" Tifa frowns, she looks tierd. She looks sexy when she's tierd.

"Oh their good, I think they might be having some relationship issues."

"Ki getting jelous again?" I nod. "Well you know Ki, I mean she's nice n'all but just loves to be center of attention." Rikku still looks confused, poor Rikku.

"Kairi and Dylan used to go here but Dill got kicked out and Kairi followed her. They've been going out since they were like 12." Rikku no longer looks confused. "Ahh, R.E. Kill me someone. Kill me now!" A tad dramatic I know but hey.

"Gladly." Scarlet hisses. God I hate her!_ Yes we know Yuffie._

"Bite me bitch!" _Yeah great comeback Yuffie!_

"No thank, might get rabies." The nerve of that whore! The god dam nerve, skanky anorexic fuck!

"What did you just say whore?"

"You know, you might want to take a look in the mirror before you start saying things like that." How dare she? Dam hussy!

"Oh go fuck a duck!" I flip her the bird then storm out. Followed closely by Tifa, Aeris and Rikku. Thank god she's not in my R.E class is all I can say!

"Hello, you must be miss Albhed?" Mr. Guado greets Rikku. I swear that man is gay! _What makes you say that? _He sounds so camp._ And that makes him gay? _Well no but..._ I give up with you!_

"Yeah." Rikku shakes his out stretched hand. I take my seat next to Wakka. And no before you ask, I have no choice in the matter. Dam alphabet! No wait, dam Wakka Kasinic! Yeah, his fault. _Not really Yuffie._

"Hey Yuffie. Hang out with those dyke's again yesteray yah?" I glare at Tidus who blushes.

"Just fuck off Wak!"

"oh, why all moody. That time of the month yah?" I slap him on the back of the head. He gives me a look of mock hurt simalar to the one I gave Tidus earlier. "Yah know I really don't why you're still friends with those freaky lesbians." The mans a pig! How could I have ever gone out with that? _How could you have slept with that? _Easy, I was very very drunk. _Yeah, blame the drink Yuffie. _I will thank you.

Man alive R.E was boring, and maths was nothing to write home about so that leaves us here. On the way to the cantien. And dear god is that Shelke walking up to me?

"Hey Yuffie." Argh! Shelke! Why must that hoe-bag talk to me?

"Yeah?"

"Look Yuffie. Can't we just be friends?"

"Definatly not Shelke." _Ok that was harsh! _She'll get over it.

"Was that you talking to Shelke?" Vincent. Yay! Someone to angst up my day!

"Even scarier. That was Shelke asking to be my friend." Vincent smirks at me.

"Fancy a little get together after school?" By 'get together' he means 'let's go and get completely out of our mind drunk.'

"Always Vin-bitch. I'll call Dill and Ki."

"How about newbie?"

"Might as well." Vincent smirks. I see him walk over to Rikku and start talking to her, I'm dailing Dylan. "Hey Dill."

"Hey hey Yu"

"Fancy having a little get together tonight?"

"Always!"

"Cool, and Ki?"

"Yeah I'm sure she'll be cool. You and vampire angst don't mind if I bring a couple of friends do you?"

"More the merrier."

Ok, how uncomfortable is this right now? You remember that red-head and her boyfriend Dylan and Kairi were argueing about? Well Dylan invited them and Kairi seems really pissed off. The red is hot but she doesn't seem interested in Dill, she's to preoupied with her boyfriend. Matt seems k for the most part and Will is nice enough. Their both to drunk to notice Kairi giving them the evil eye. "Ohhhh, lets s'play spin the bottle." Aclearly past it Tifa sujests. A sujestion which is met rather warmly.

"Yahhhhhhhhhh!" Vincent mimic's Wakka who, for various reason's wasnt invited. Along with: Aeris, because she doesn't drink on school nights; Yuna, she doesn't drink at all; Shelke, me and Vin hate her; Cloud, he has his parties and I have mine and Zack, he's trying to make up with Aeris. On a lighter note we have in attendence today: myself, duh; Vincent, again duh; Tifa; Dylan; Rikku, looking particularly yummy I might just dare to add; Kairi; Matt; Will; Squall, whose almost to drunk to function and Riona whose to busy making sure Squalls doesn't hurt himself to enjoy herself. A couple of months ago he had way to much and ended up slicing his forhead open falling down some stairs. And our choice poison? Well I absoultly adore vodka, neat. A tase I share with Tifa and apparently Rikku. Vincent and Squall are whisky fans along with Dylan and apparently Will and Matt. Kairi and Riona are tequilla girls. And now we're playing spin the bottle with an empty coke bottle. We're at Dylans house in case your wondering, mainly because her aunts one of those adults who don't care if teen's drink as long as they buy their own and any sex is 'safe'. Oh and the bottle lands on Squall. "Truth or dare?" Oh, the suspence.

"Uhh, truth." Man he would be boring. Now we're going to get Vinny asking some pathetic question.

"Ok. Ok I got one. Apart from Riona, is their anyone in this room you'd sleep with?" Oh, good one. Which is odd for Vinny.

"Nooooooooo. There could be no one after Rhiii!" Typical, and so not true! Oh shit, bottle landed on me. I hate it when that happens.

"Truth or dare?" Squall asks. Thats how our game works. The person who the bottle landed on last is the one who asks the truth or gives the dare.

"Ohh. Definatly has to be a dare!" I never choose truth, ever! I just realised something, drink makes that pesky voice go away. I'll have to ask it about that when it comes back.

"Ok." Oh Squall's got something evil planded I just know it! " I dare you to...make out with...Rikku." Well you can't turn own a dare can you. Ok, private moment folks. See me kiss Rikku you will not get to! Ha ha, I'm mean!

Ok so I'm on the bus home now. You want to know how it went right? I can tell you this much, girl's and awesome kisser! But don't put to much stock in it because by the end of spin the bottle I'd made out with: Rikku, Vincent; Matt; Will and Dylan. But that's truth or dare for you. Don't worry though I was throughly compenstied. Matt eneded up making out with everyone but Squall and Kairi. And yes that inclueds Vincent. Man am I going to lord that overhim tommorrow. Well bye bye guys.


	6. Little Less

**Authors Notes:**** Ok, on with the show!**

**Disclaimer:**** I own nothing, nothing at all. **

**Little less.**

Ahh. Headache! _That's what you get for drinking. _So not in the mood for you! _Do I care?_ Ugh! When did you get back?_ Around the same time you sobered up. _Where'd you go? _I went to sleep. _Why? _Because your too much to handle when you're drunk. _Ha! Vincent made out with Matt. _I know, it's funny. _"Yuffie!" Oh Cloud, my human alarm clock.

Ok so I made it in time for the bus, barelly. "Hey Yuffie." Yuna greets. I simply flop into the empty seat behind her and Tidus and groan.

"Someone's hungover." Tidus half-hums. "And why wasn't I invited?"

"Because if we invited you we'd have to have invited Wakka and if Wakka came he'd have brought the tecno freak." Duh!_ Yeah how dumb can you get Tidus? _

"You know Shelke's actually really nice if you get to know her." Yuna sighs.

"Yeha but it's not just me who doesn't like her, it's Vinny to. Go lecture him." Never going to happen. Vincent and Yuna don't get on anymore. They haven't spoken since she broke up with him. Did I forget to tell you they used to go out? Sorry.

Homeroom. Oh highwind's not here today, shame. "Hello little Yuffie." Wow what is her secrate? She must ne hungover to. How is she so chipper? _Oh shut up Yuffie! _Rude much? _Rude often actually. _Oh fuck off!

"Umm." She giggles, apparently my pain is funny.

"Aw, had a lil to much to drink last night?" I nod. " Poor little Yuffie." She's actually enjoying this! _Seems like it. _oh look, someone as hungover as me, yay! God bless you Tifa Lockhart!

"Hey Tifa." She just shakes her head. Tifa wont be very good company untill lunch, the time she would have gotten up had she been given the choice. What have I got thusday first lesson? _You should know Yuffie! _Uhhh...science. Shit! I hate science, with a passion.

"Ahh scinece!" Rikku gasps at her timetable. "Hojo...what's he like?" Poor Rikku, seriously.

"Ouch. You're fucked. Your own fault for being so smart." Tifa jokes. Kind of. At least she's perked up.

"He's that bad?"

"Whose that bad?" Oh mental hello to Aeris! _Can't you just say hi? _Nope. _Why? _Tired! I wont be a viable life form untill lunch. _Chyea like Wallace will let you sleep through gym. _"Hojo." Aeris mouth contorts into a small 'o' shape acompained with a sympathetic galnce at Rikku.

"Yep he's god awful alright. He's like what you'd get of you crossed Dr. Frankenstien with Ted Bundy." Not a joke, quite a good analogy actually. Rikku looks scared.

"Don't worry Hun, you're not alone. I'll tell Lulu to look out for you."

"Lulu?"

"Oh, tall busty, stoic." Rikku seems to know who she's talking about. Argh, science. I hate, no I supper mega loathe it to quote Dr. Cox. He's funny. _You watch to much TV. _Can't you just crawl into a hole and die? _Nope. _And why ever not? _ Because then your life might be remotely easy? _And what'd be so bad about that? _You'd be insanly bored. _That sort of makes sense, in a way. _It makes complete sense and you know it! _Ok, ok shut up now. I hate my science teacher, she's not as bad as Hojo but she's no picnic either. Oh just to let you know, I'll never speak to you while I'm in science. _Why? _Because I don't want them so see me getting publicly embarrssed thats why. _Maybe if you paid attention every once and a while you'll know whats going on. _Will you just take your stupied logic somewhere it's wanted?!?

Ok so science was just as painful as I thought it was going to be, but I don't want to talk anymore about that. Now I have P.E, yay! Joke by the way. _I think we guessed that Yuffie. _Ugh, swimming. The last thing I want to do right now and by the looks of it Tifa's thinking exactly the same thing. "Ok girls I want you change in 5!" Ugh, does Walace have to be so loud?!? Ok I need to like sleep now..._ We're sorry for the brief interuption guys, we're currently having a technical problem with yuffie. We'll be up and running as soon as humanly possiable. Over and out folks._

**Authors Notes:**** Ok sorry about how bad this chapter sucks, I've been battling with writers block. It's horrific! **


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